[Lib1 is wearing a new shirt]
Lib1: It's made of organically-grown hemp!
Lib2: Fair-trade from Romania!
Radish: What's the carbon footprint of imports from Romania?
Libs: [together, crestfallen] Oh.
[Radish nods sagely and gets another Hacker-Pschorr, feeling no guilt whatsoever about its journey from München to Milwaukee]
Later I wondered what they do with the wastewater from processing the hemp, how the processing equipment was powered (bast fibers have to beaten into submission...), not to mention the spinning and weaving. Of course, in Romania they might still be paying peasants pennies an hour to pound the fibers by hand until they're soft enough to process. But then they breathe heavy, and that makes carbon dioxide...
Sigh. L'esprit d'escalier. I haz it.
I've got nothing against hemp; I think it's wrong that the cotton lobby has been so effective in outlawing its production in the US. But it doesn't make anything in my amygdala flash, either. Oooh, Earthy!