Baseball starts in 30 days.

The Onion (only slightly less wrong than the NY Times most days):

MILWAUKEE—The Milwaukee Bucks home game against the New York Knicks was relegated to the basement of the Bradley Center Tuesday, arena president Steve Costello announced to reporters, saying he was forced to hold the more popular Smucker's Stars On Ice event in the main venue. "Normally only 200 to 300 people are in attendance for most Bucks games, so the basement will provide plenty of room," Costello said, adding that the Bradley Center's basement had a quaint and intimate atmosphere most NBA fans never get a chance to experience. "Every figure-skating event we host sells out, while it costs more for us to keep the lights on during Bucks game than we make off of ticket sales." Costello said that when he created the event schedule for the year, he naturally assumed the Bucks season would either be over by now or that ownership would have moved the team to another city.