DEAR ABBY: I dress my Siamese cat, "Belle," in clothes and pajamas. (Yes, they make apparel for cats.) I also push her around in a stroller. My friends think I'm crazy, but I consider Belle to be my daughter.
One time, a teenager came up to me as I was pushing Belle in her stroller and asked, "Where's the baby?" I told her that Belle was like my baby.
Is it nuts to treat a cat like a child? -- MOM OF A FUR KID IN N.Y.
DEAR "MOM": Nuts? No. A bid for attention ... perhaps.
Dear Abby and Not A Mom:
You're both pathetic, deluded, insensitive assholes. Please stop making the rest of us barren spinsters with cats look even sadder, crazier, and despisable (despicable?) than we really are.
P.S. Nobody is fooled by the phrase "Fur kid." See below for handy educational diagram:
The one on the left can be left home alone all day with a bowl of water and some crunchies. If you do that to the ones on the right, better hope you get arrested before their actual Mom (or Grandpa or Aunt Radish) find out about it and come looking for you. See? Not the same.