Don't touch me until you've had a shower.

A fan of Jay Nordlinger suggests a bumpersticker :

Celebrate Diversity — Hug a Conservative

It would be wittier if it was "Embrace Diversity." And I'd prefer to opt out, because I find that whole "liking people because of the label they wear" thing creepy.

But it might be a good way to lure an emergency moonbat into my trunk...