I laughed at "Apocalyptic Garbage Blizzard" but seriously, that looks exactly like the time my cousin came to visit me at school in Indiana and we thought we'd go to the Museum of Science and Industry and we didn't know the Dan Ryan had express lanes (our hometown has no stoplights...) and we thought we'd just take an exit and follow the map. Complete with abandoned elderly relative. Only thing missing is an iron grille on the front of the Smithsonian.
How's about maybe, instead of pledging to be a servant to your leader, you just clean up after yourself? For a change?
Mother Gaia will smile on you, or something.