Sunday, August 2, 2009


My second-favorite designated driver (meine bayerische Fruend) dropped by New York this weekend to take me to the 1000 Islands region and Ontario. Was quite lovely until we got back to the U.S., where the Border Patrol flagged us for a vehicle search. I had been joking all weekend about being on the DHS "right-wing terrorist" list (I DID attend a Sarah Palin rally last fall...), and there we were. Perhaps when they asked if we bought anything to bring back with us, I shouldn't have said "stuffed animals for my niece and nephews*"--but they're trained to recognize the signs that people are lying, right?

While we were sitting on too-small hard plastic chairs in a holding pen with no bathrooms, surrounded by smugglers and terrorists (who knows, right?), watching the agents drilling people between breaks, all I could think was, "I can't WAIT until this government controls and portions out all our healthcare."** I'm going to smack single-payer** advocates double-hard from now on.

Eventually we were released, and proceded directly back to Syracuse and the Dinosaur BBQ, where a bartender at least 10 years younger than I am carded me when I ordered a beer. I showed him my passport and thanked him for cheering me back up. :)

* Mooses dressed like Mounties. Very cute.
** And wow, did I feel like a nerd when I realized normal people don't have thoughts like that.
*** Unless the "single payer" they advocate is the person receiving the care or their legal guardian. I don't mind that sort of system at all.

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