My cat could be a "reporter"

Might have trouble filing reports from lack of thumbs, but he pokes his head up off the couch to investigate loud noises...

Afterward, the rehearsal dinner crowd went to a "Texas-sized" celebration down the street. They were escorted by a high school marching band from Belton, Texas, which played "Happy Birthday" and "The Eyes of Texas are Upon You," Hermann said. Reporters never saw or heard the noisy procession.

How can you miss a freaking marching band?!?!

"Like, OMG, they're making me go to f-ing TEXAS, to report on Chimpy McHitler's brat's f-ing wedding. Like, gross. I mean, TEXAS. I'll be in the bar with my iPod so I don't accidentally interact with f-in inbred hick neocons..."

I find the whole celebrity/royal wedding thing tedious in the extreme, so the details the Bush family released to the media are quite refreshing.

Although it's just not a real wedding banquet without an endangered fish course. :P