Heart-rending tales of woe

The average cost of a wedding fell $6,000 last year as brides confronted a deepening recession.

Heart-rending tales of woe. Can no longer drop a week's salary on a purse! Realized she wasn't really a Disney Princess! Paid $900 for a dress, which was the same as a prom dress! ($900 for a prom dress?!) I've never been to a wedding where the run-of-the-mill guests weren't served sheet cake...

I suspect if the economy was good, they'd be recycling the "your wedding is bad for the planet!" theme. Out-of-town relatives emit evil carbon dioxide, honeymoon travel is selfish, fresh flowers take food out of the mouths of Third World babies, etc.

Heh.

This cracked me up, although it shouldn't, because it's really very sad.

”Economy Crashes, Cupid Hardest Hit.”
Can you imagine the sheer horror of going to a park with your family and then facing the additional horror of having to watch a talkie with them?

As the comments note, if it's a treat that they're spending a day with the toddler, she probably has an awful life, mamma's diamond necklace from Tiffany notwithstanding.

I had time to craft fabric valentines by hand for my niece and nephews instead of buying them, is how I'm spinning it. (The cards didn't turn out like the image in my head. But kids under two won't notice, and the preschoolers like postcards of Milwaukee because it's MAIL! With THEIR NAME! so any card will be a win.)

Get the popcorn...

Corporate MSM vs the socialist-chic cult. Kind of like a Hawkeye-Bugeaters game.

AP alleges copyright infringement of Obama image

Actually, I think I want the AP to win, because I'm very uncomfortable with the concept that it's acceptable to steal intellectual property to benefit politicians or government:

Robin Gross, an intellectual property attorney who heads IP Justice, an international civil liberties organization, believes that Fairey had the right to use the photo, saying that he intended it for a political cause, not commercial use.

"Fairey's purpose of the use for the photo was political or civic, and this will certainly count in favor of the poster being a fair use," said Gross, based in San Francisco.

Good grief.

Why is ESPN bashing Sarah Palin in the lead-up to the Packers game?

I miss Dennis Miller.

"I choose not to participate."

Heh.


Glad I waited to catch this online, instead of making an appointment with my television. Starts out berating the subject for his success? WTF?

(...and whoever was responsible for her outfit in the introduction need to be fired forwith.)

Mumbai, etc.

I was off the grid for a few days in western Ohio. It was kind of nice--between the Dayton Daily News and the local NBC news, I was kept completely ignorant of anything going on in the world except retail shopping and Bishop Alter HS winning the Div IV football championship. That was fine while I was there, as it freed me up for more important things, but now I'm going to have to spend my day (minus the Colts game) trawling the internet for actual information. (The Daily News did find a local immigrant from Mumbai who denounced the attacks and expressed sympathy for the victims and their families, and a local rabbi who knew Rabbi Holtzberg; I guess that's all local papers can do about international news in the internet age).

A Tim Hortons just opened up in Richmond, Indiana--I spent a half an hour looking for it yesterday so I could read Mark Steyn while munching on Timbits (I should learn to read his writing in the original Canadian...):

So Bush is history, and we have a new president who promises to heal the planet, and yet the jihadists don’t seem to have got the Obama message that there are no enemies, just friends we haven’t yet held talks without preconditions with. This isn’t about repudiating the Bush years, or withdrawing from Iraq, or even liquidating Israel. It’s bigger than that.

I've been wondering what Obama thinks (my money is on "Oh, shit."). So, George Bush really wasn't making up scary stories. Didn't see that coming...

Huh.

I noticed this new media hypocrisy in passing yesterday, but NewsBusters did the actual work of looking up examples:

Obamas Are 'Fabulously Fit' Follow-up: Press Treated Bush Fitness As 'Creepy' and an 'Obsession'

Note to re-education camp facilitators: I refuse to fall in for calisthenics before breakfast, forced marches between March and October, and aerobic dance at any time. Celebrate diversity!

Heh heh.

In my e-mail today:

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams, and a US Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists asked if they had any last requests before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.' The leader laughed, and said, 'Shut up, infidel whore.'

Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in New York, so I'd like to hear the song 'The Moon and Me' one last time.' The terrorist leader laughed, and said, 'Shut up, infidel son of dogs and pigs.'

Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' The leader laughed, and said, 'Stupid infidel, we’re videotaping the whole thing so your children can watch you scream like the pig you are.'

Finally, the leader turned and said, 'And now, Mr. US Marine, what is your final wish?'

'Kick me in the butt,' said the Marine.

'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'

'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt,' insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, and with his knife, he slashed the throat of one carrying an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists - killing another 11!

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you?'

'What!?!' replied the Marine, 'and have you three assholes report that I started an attack on innocent civilians??'

The AP seems confused

(What else is new?)

New York Mets' Oiliver Perez throws against the Milwaukee Brewers in the first inning of a baseball game at Shea Stadium on Sunday, Sept. 28, 2008


Milwaukee Brewers' Scott Olsen throws against the New York Mets in the first inning of baseball play at Shea Stadium on Sunday, Sept. 28, 2008

The second one is especially entertaining, as Scott Olsen's shirt very clearly says "Marlins."

Way to go, Cedarburg!

Hrm, I wonder how I missed this in the local media* this weekend when I was trawling for pictures from the event.

CEDARBURG, Wisc. -- Hundreds of angry people in this small town outside Milwaukee taunted reporters and TV crews traveling with Sen. John McCain on Friday, chanting "Be fair!" and pointing fingers at a pack of journalists as they booed loudly.

Then there's this:

McCain leads Democrat Barack Obama by 50%-46% among registered voters, the Republican's biggest advantage since January and a turnaround from the USA TODAY poll taken just before the convention opened in St. Paul. Then, he lagged by 7 percentage points.

Dear talking empty heads on TV: You're assholes. Thanks!

* No, I don't.

I can't make this up...

The shoes of Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain (L) and his vice presidential running mate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin are shown as they stand at a campaign event in Dayton, Ohio August 29, 2008. (John Gress/Reuters)

I can't tell if this is parody or satire or if Reuters really thinks shoes are important.

Give me a break

I'm less...bemused by "Marie Claire magazine dubs Milwaukee its ‘sexiest city’" than I am disgusted that anyone takes garbage from "women's interest periodicals" of the sex-and-fashion variety seriously enough to publish it in the newspaper.

Especially when there's serious issues afoot.

Citizens of Milwaukee!

Do our work for us!

I like amateur pictures of weather disasters. But I've mostly been looking at those on Flickr.

My cat could be a "reporter"

Might have trouble filing reports from lack of thumbs, but he pokes his head up off the couch to investigate loud noises...

Afterward, the rehearsal dinner crowd went to a "Texas-sized" celebration down the street. They were escorted by a high school marching band from Belton, Texas, which played "Happy Birthday" and "The Eyes of Texas are Upon You," Hermann said. Reporters never saw or heard the noisy procession.

How can you miss a freaking marching band?!?!

"Like, OMG, they're making me go to f-ing TEXAS, to report on Chimpy McHitler's brat's f-ing wedding. Like, gross. I mean, TEXAS. I'll be in the bar with my iPod so I don't accidentally interact with f-in inbred hick neocons..."

I find the whole celebrity/royal wedding thing tedious in the extreme, so the details the Bush family released to the media are quite refreshing.

Although it's just not a real wedding banquet without an endangered fish course. :P