Let's just get this election over with

I'm so tired of seeing this catshit (this is the least offensive example, trust me) everytime I read quilt blogs and friends' personal journals and every other email with "FWD:" in the subject line. Can we just move on to the gloating (and/or race riots) and stop the snide crass self-congratulation-on-how-smarter-we-are-than-people-who-go-to-church? It's like water torture, and I'm only two "Sarah Palin is an evil bitch!" conversations away from going Towanda the Avenger.

Full disclosure: I do laugh any time Gary Varvel draws Obama's ears, but that sort of thing is a) a tradition of political cartooning and b) doesn't co-opt, politicize, and vulgarize any treasured American icon. And half the time I still think McCain looks like Statler and Waldorf's long lost brother. Heh.

(I might start asking them how they think Sarah Palin is going to go about impregnating every American woman after she takes the oath of office. Some of these women I'm convinced there's some Oprah-esque wish-fulfillment fantasy going on here. The liberal ideal of government-as-husband, 35-year-old educated white woman version.)

Semi-related, I attended a birthday dinner last night and at my end of the table conversation centered how how much the Midwest sucks. Too much "sprawl", unlike Portland and Seattle which are awesome because no one's allowed to build so it's pretty and you don't have stupid poor people from the small towns trying to move in (I think I outed myself as an evil baby-polar-bear-starving Neanderthal conversative asshole when I accidentally mentioned out loud that building restrictions are a classic example of how government over-regulation hurts poor people). People from small towns are so..."limited." (guilty) Milwaukee has no progressive culture, just backwards mass-commercial crap (really? There's a one-man play about an East German transvestite going on right now at the Rep....). Lake Michigan is small and boring (!!!). And four distinct seasons? That's for unenlightened boors. You have to be seriously unevolved and classless to like winter.

I LOVE winter. And like the Midwest. And enjoy life in Milwaukee (except for the driving down to the inner city and having to swerve to avoid the people who stand in the middle of the street and stare me down, but I'm thinking you get some of that in the poor parts of any major city, no matter how progressive and cultured it is). Stupid, limit, uncultured, unenlightened, boring, worthless small town hick that I am...I can't help wonder why these people are here instead of someplace more to their liking. I suspect its because it costs a lot of money to live in those places...

I don't think I'll be invited to any more dinners after my friend Andy, who organized it, moves to The Cities next month.

(Two of my favorite writers are Walter E. Williams and Thomas Sowell, can you tell?)