Heh heh.

In my e-mail today:

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams, and a US Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists asked if they had any last requests before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.' The leader laughed, and said, 'Shut up, infidel whore.'

Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in New York, so I'd like to hear the song 'The Moon and Me' one last time.' The terrorist leader laughed, and said, 'Shut up, infidel son of dogs and pigs.'

Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' The leader laughed, and said, 'Stupid infidel, we’re videotaping the whole thing so your children can watch you scream like the pig you are.'

Finally, the leader turned and said, 'And now, Mr. US Marine, what is your final wish?'

'Kick me in the butt,' said the Marine.

'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'

'No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the butt,' insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists, and with his knife, he slashed the throat of one carrying an AK-47, which he took, and sprayed the rest of the terrorists - killing another 11!

In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives. As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you?'

'What!?!' replied the Marine, 'and have you three assholes report that I started an attack on innocent civilians??'