Radish's Homemade Butterscotch Pudding for Election Day Celebratory Dipping

2/3 cup brown sugar, packed
2 tablespoons corn starch
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk
2 egg yolks, slightly beaten
2 tablespoons butter*, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla

Mix sugar, cornstarch, and salt in 2-quart saucepan. Stir in milk gradually. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens and boils. Boil and stir 1 minute. Stir at least half of the hot mixture gradually into egg yolks (this is the tricky part--stir constantly, to keep bits of cooked egg from forming). Blend into hot mixture in saucepan. Boil and stir 1 minute. Remove from heat; stir in butter and vanilla. Pour into dish. ALLOW TO COOL SLIGHTLY before dipping anything your spouse may want to use later, IYKWIMAITYD. Refrigerate leftovers.

* You can use margarine, but it will taste like crap.

Is this thing on?

I'm back!

I should start writing again.

I also need a job.

Huh?

Someone found a need to graph the number of bars to the number of grocery stores across the U.S.

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of this measurement, since Froot Loops and "something to do on Saturday night" are completely different commodities. And in rural areas, it's not a big deal to make a weekly trip many miles, possibly to a different county *gasp* for provisions, but it's kind of a drag to drive an hour to hang out and have a beer. So a county without the population to support a grocery store has a bar? HORROR!

But it does confirm my suspicion that the reporters at the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel who keep writing the "Wisconsin's unique (and shameful!!1!) drinking culture" tripe have never lived anywhere else.

This evening I am responsibly enjoying a single bottle of beer at home. I am doing nothing immoral, I am endangering no one, and I paid a buttload of state taxes for the privilege. Anhedonic fascists pretending to care about "health" as it relates to alcohol are cordially invited to go [verb] yourselves. Feel free to live a dry, joyless existence, as is your right, and stop interfering with my right to choose the opposite, mm-kay?

The People's Seat

Scott Brown, espousing the radical notion that the U.S. Senate isn't the House of Lords:



I donated to his campaign yesterday. About six weeks after I started working in Syracuse, Wisconsin sent me a check of porkulus dollars--increased unemployment compensation was part of Barry's Folly back in February, and it took that long for Wisconsin to figure out how to change the computers. I donated part of it to Breitbart's "care packages for troops in Iraq and Afghanistan" webathon last summer, and held on to the rest of it for the 2010 elections. The 41st vote against Obamacare seems like a worthy cause for Obama bribe money. Bwahahaha.

I expect ACORN and the SEIU are filling out ballots for Coakley right now...but that's no reason not to try to win it legitimately...

(I suppose I could have refused to cash it, but honestly I expect state workers in Madison embezzle uncashed state disbursement checks, because who would know or care? It's free government money!)

In lieu of real content

Here's a photo gallery of Peyton Manning, the Most Most Valuable Player in NFL history (would love to have been a fly on the wall in the Favre household when that was announced...).

StarFiles: A Peyton Manning biography - More The Indianapolis Star Galleries

View this gallery at The Indianapolis Star: StarFiles: A Peyton Manning biography

He looks like a baby in 1998. How did I get old?

Playoffs!?!?

Early this morning I had a dream that three Colts defensive players died of injuries incurred during a football game conducted in a post-apocalyptic setting. Metaphor or prediction? I'm not sure I want to know. Given the sad state of national security, it's entirely possible...

Anyone following me on Twitter (and you should, because I'm funny) may be aware that the Colts' season ended halfway through the game against the Jets during Week 16, when the front office made it known they have no interest in winning football games (Attention "I believe made-up quotes" Irsay: call Barack Obama, he still has an opening for a "not interested in victory" czar). You may remember 2005, when they gave the starters four weeks off and subsequently played like a junior high team in January. I'd like to thank the league for scheduling this year's ignominous defeat for late on a Saturday night so I can be comfortably numb before kickoff, with a full 24 hours before I need to sober up for work.

So here is my Game With the Name You Can't Use Lest the NFL Sue You for Trademark Infringement prediction: Chargers and Vikings, in a game I won't bother to watch because Phillip Rivers is an even bigger jackass than Bert Faver.

When I grow up, I want to be a "stunt veggie"

Not really, but the phrase cracks me up.

Addiction Management

If I hadn't bled all over my kitchen over the weekend I would have assumed there was liquid caffeine running through my veins, so I have no room to mock anyone for their addiction to legally-attainable substances*.

I am very good at making sure I have access to adequate coffee/soda supplies in my apartment/cubicle/road trips, and Excedrin to keep the headaches away should I fail. Folgers singles--the coffee snob shudders, but you throw some milk and sugar in there, and Thanksgiving morning at a house with no coffeemaker becomes bearable, while you try to convince someone to go to Dunkin Donuts and get you some brewed coffee. :)

I realize this is junkie behavior.

But I would never go outside in -20°F weather with no socks looking for a fix (warning: gory medical photos). Hell, I've got wool socks over my cotton socks and my waterproof insulated boots just to dig out my car and go grocery shopping when it's +20°F.

Do you file this under "global warming is deadly!" or "tobacco use is deadly!"??

No word on whether this dumbass has medical insurance, but since they didn't leave him to die on the street he must (if President Obama isn't lying to me...hah!); in the brave new world of government healthcare I'm sure he'll pay a bigger penalty for smoking than he will be for being stupid. Fat people--well, you don't deserve surgery unrelated to your condition, because of your "lifestyle choices." Snowboarders--that knee replacement is no problem!

But mostly I'm annoyed with the tone of the article. We're supposed to feel sorry for him, he almost died, he might lose toes...he's an idiot. The idiot supply in this country is in no danger of drying up.

It's a good cautionary tale--wear socks in January, nothing good happens when you go out after midnight--but I think they're missing a bigger picture here. There's no more personal responsibility/adulthood anymore. A 27-year-old man is a kid who needs our sympathy because no one reminded him to put on socks before he went outside in the snow. Seriously!? And this gets him on TV?

If he gets a book deal, it's safe to say western civilization is dead.

Alright, I need more coffee.

(I will say that once I got past the "poor kid" crap, I did find learning about how they treat frostbite/hypothermia, in case I'm stupid enough to go out on the NY Thruway between now and the end of Lake Effect Snow Season, and two pairs of socks aren't enough.)

* I do not believe hardcore junkies or even teenagers shooting up heroin for the first time are going to read a government pamphlet, even if it's yellow. Although I guess I'm mocking the "wanna make a difference without doing any real work" nanny crowd more than the users here, aren't I?

No blood for Gaia!

Sliced a dime-sized patch of skin off my right index finger this morning trying to wash out a Campbell's soup can. I thought it would make a decent (FREE!) container to hold fabric-dyeing spoons separate from spoons I use for food (this is crucial; dyes are 'non-toxic' but that doesn't mean 'edible'). Bled through two fabric bandages and ruined my plans to spend the day with my hands in buckets of salty water.

Attention brainwashed hippies who lack critical thinking skills: this is why I don't wash my garbage to recycle it. It's not worth the pain and suffering. No blood for Gaia! Not to mention conservation of our precious freshwater supplies...I have no idea why people who refuse to shower because hygiene hurts the planet insist we should waste water in this fashion.

OTOH, if you don't mind bleeding to death to save the planet, YOU can wash and recycle my garbage.

(I decided to house my fabric-dyeing spoons in...a plastic grocery bag. Lacks the aesthetic appeal of the soup can, but I should have gone for safety in the first place.)

White House Christmas Tree and Copyright...

Spent an excellent week home in Milwaukee for Christmas, which included a visit to the MAM. Didn't go through the Warhol special exhibit (ends Sunday, focuses on his Catholicism, go see it) because we saw it in October, but we walked through the extra Pop Art they borrowed for the occasion and stared for awhile at the Mao silkscreens. They look sort of like this image of Mao from the White House Christmas Tree:



The cover article of the November issue of ARTNews was about Warhol and his current popularity on consumer products. The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts owns his copyrights; you have to get a license from them to use his images. They approve just about every request--perfume, chocolate, snowboards, condoms--but according to the article "the foundation rigorously guards against unauthorized use of copyrights and trademarks" and "legal actions have been periodically initiated against offenders."

So did the "artist" (sneer quotes) who contributed this derivative work to the White House Christmas Tree--they didn't even alter it, they just decoupaged it on a ball--get permission from the Foundation to use Warhol's work? I'm not insinuating anything, but I want to know. Because I'm pretty sure "the glory of Barack Obama" isn't covered under "fair use"--see Associated Press vs. Shepard Fairey. They charge "nominal fees" for "educational and creative purposes" but they do expect you to get their permission before using their property in your own art. Which is fair, and supported by copyright law.

I'm not a fan of copyrights lasting for generations after the creator's death, but the Foundation donates its money to artists, art programs, and museums, and I AM a fan of those things being supported solely by private entities instead of tax dollars.

Yeah, I know, this pales next to all the unConstitutional garbage the White House is orchestrating, but given that people who describe themselves as "artists" are overwhelmingly Obamaphiles...they need to know they're just tools of this megalomaniacal bastard and his pals. If they'll countenance stealing from icons, stealing from you is easy-peasy. (Thanks for nothing, Ovoters!)

Merry Christmas!

Ronald Reagan's 1981 Christmas address:



Faith and freedom.

Office Numbers for Senators "undecided" on Motion to Proceed

Nelson's other numbers:
(402) 391-3411
(402) 441-4600
(308) 631-7614
(308) 293-5818
(402) 209-3595

Landrieu's other numbers:
(504) 589-2427
(225) 389-0395
(318) 676-3085
(337) 436-6650
Her website sounds like she's already accepted the bribe.

Bayh's other numbers:
(317) 554-0750
(812) 465-6500
(260) 426-3151
(219) 852-2763
(812) 218-2317
(574) 236-8302

Blanche's other numbers:
1-800-352-9364
(870)382-1023
(870) 910-6896
(479) 251-1224
(870) 774-3106


Probably all closed for the weekend, but save this list for Monday.

Wordless Wednesday

Wisconsin does not have a "unique" "drinking culture"

I've been critical here and elsewhere when people hyperventilate about how the "drinking culture" of Wisconsin is the worst in the world. As if no where else on Earth does anyone ever drink to excess at a bar or sporting event, or fail to learn the lesson after the first DUI. I know we all want to think we're special, but we're not. Spending any time at all outside of Wisconsin should clear that right up, unless you're spending it with practicing Mormons.

A 33-year-old college professor was arrested on drunken driving charges twice in the same night following separate traffic stops in the city, authorities said.

Madison? LaCrosse? Must be Platteville, right?

Utica.

The problem is not the culture of Wisconsin. The problem is stupid people. And they live everywhere.

The unknown American soldiers who perished in the battles of Saratoga, September 19 and October 7, 1777 and were here buried in unmarked graves helped to assure the triumph of the war of independence to create the Republic of the United States of America and to establish liberty throughout the world.

There's a lot of voters who owe these men--and one woman!--an apology.

More later.

Motivation

SPC Jeremy Pierce of the Oregon National Guard, who was wounded in Iraq out on a convoy in August, is walking a month "ahead of schedule" on a prosthetic leg.

"I've got motivation," Pierce said by telephone not long after that magical stroll, which went on for nearly 15 minutes, long after the video camera was turned off. "I want to hurry up and return to my normal life and stay in the Guard, you know? I want to get back to duty."

There are pictures and a video at the Statesman Journal site. Handkerchief recommended.

Wordless Wednesday

Your choices are unacceptable

A couple of places today I read the NY Times story about how people ordered more calories at fast-food restaurants after the nannies mandated the calorie information for menu items be displayed prominently.

...this just means the anhedoniacs who demand everyone live as joylessly as they do are going to push government to restrict menus.* Restaurants will be the next industry to be legislated into bankruptcy and/or government (GM isn't an exact analogy, as McDonald's has avoided being targeted by SEIU...but CAFE standards and cafe standards....), after the medical industry is destroyed.

And so, an anecdote. In a major fail I do not wish to talk about, I spent a day in August trapped at JFK airport, in Queens**. After standing in line for five hours, I was able to drag my carcass into a chain restaurant for a burger and a beer.

It took me 15 minutes to figure out what all those three-digit integers on the beer list meant.

The put the freaking calorie counts on the BEER LIST.

Obviously, this had no impact on my order. I would drink store brand beer from a can before I would order MGD64 (nasty AND weak), and diet soda is not beer. As it was, I had to settle for a Sam Adams, as the airport franchise did not have the bountiful taps of the standalone franchise I visit most frequently.

Beer is full of B-vitamins, and there have been numerous studies showing that one serving daily has some health benefits. And trapped in an airport, I was in no danger of driving. But the empty totalitarians were trying to scare me away from it. Don't believe for a minute it's about health--it's only about control.

* I'm thinking of donut speakeasies. You know the password, they'll sell you a donut, regardless of your BMI.

** Side note: They apparently "went green" by completely removing the HVAC; particularly repugnant in August at an international airport with frequent flights from cultures that do not value soap or deodorant.

Someone needs to get Al-Gore recalibrated...

He's going to be in Madistan on Friday, but the snow is going to hit the Twin Cities. Clearly he's out of whack. More than usual.

Meanwhile the sunspot minimum is pushing a record, and Al's source for alarming graphs pretty much made it up.

Science!

Shameless Bleg

Don't forget to vote for my Flash Mob Proposal, #82, at Iowahawk's $33.18 Steel Cage Art Death Match (I can't believe I had the only entry with uncovered breasts...). Danke!