Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Wisconsin does not have a "unique" "drinking culture"

I've been critical here and elsewhere when people hyperventilate about how the "drinking culture" of Wisconsin is the worst in the world. As if no where else on Earth does anyone ever drink to excess at a bar or sporting event, or fail to learn the lesson after the first DUI. I know we all want to think we're special, but we're not. Spending any time at all outside of Wisconsin should clear that right up, unless you're spending it with practicing Mormons.
A 33-year-old college professor was arrested on drunken driving charges twice in the same night following separate traffic stops in the city, authorities said.
Madison? LaCrosse? Must be Platteville, right?


The problem is not the culture of Wisconsin. The problem is stupid people. And they live everywhere.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

The unknown American soldiers who perished in the battles of Saratoga, September 19 and October 7, 1777 and were here buried in unmarked graves helped to assure the triumph of the war of independence to create the Republic of the United States of America and to establish liberty throughout the world.

There's a lot of voters who owe these men--and one woman!--an apology.

More later.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


SPC Jeremy Pierce of the Oregon National Guard, who was wounded in Iraq out on a convoy in August, is walking a month "ahead of schedule" on a prosthetic leg.
"I've got motivation," Pierce said by telephone not long after that magical stroll, which went on for nearly 15 minutes, long after the video camera was turned off. "I want to hurry up and return to my normal life and stay in the Guard, you know? I want to get back to duty."

There are pictures and a video at the Statesman Journal site. Handkerchief recommended.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Your choices are unacceptable

A couple of places today I read the NY Times story about how people ordered more calories at fast-food restaurants after the nannies mandated the calorie information for menu items be displayed prominently.

...this just means the anhedoniacs who demand everyone live as joylessly as they do are going to push government to restrict menus.* Restaurants will be the next industry to be legislated into bankruptcy and/or government (GM isn't an exact analogy, as McDonald's has avoided being targeted by SEIU...but CAFE standards and cafe standards....), after the medical industry is destroyed.

And so, an anecdote. In a major fail I do not wish to talk about, I spent a day in August trapped at JFK airport, in Queens**. After standing in line for five hours, I was able to drag my carcass into a chain restaurant for a burger and a beer.

It took me 15 minutes to figure out what all those three-digit integers on the beer list meant.

The put the freaking calorie counts on the BEER LIST.

Obviously, this had no impact on my order. I would drink store brand beer from a can before I would order MGD64 (nasty AND weak), and diet soda is not beer. As it was, I had to settle for a Sam Adams, as the airport franchise did not have the bountiful taps of the standalone franchise I visit most frequently.

Beer is full of B-vitamins, and there have been numerous studies showing that one serving daily has some health benefits. And trapped in an airport, I was in no danger of driving. But the empty totalitarians were trying to scare me away from it. Don't believe for a minute it's about health--it's only about control.

* I'm thinking of donut speakeasies. You know the password, they'll sell you a donut, regardless of your BMI.

** Side note: They apparently "went green" by completely removing the HVAC; particularly repugnant in August at an international airport with frequent flights from cultures that do not value soap or deodorant.

Someone needs to get Al-Gore recalibrated...

He's going to be in Madistan on Friday, but the snow is going to hit the Twin Cities. Clearly he's out of whack. More than usual.

Meanwhile the sunspot minimum is pushing a record, and Al's source for alarming graphs pretty much made it up.


Monday, October 5, 2009

Shameless Bleg

Don't forget to vote for my Flash Mob Proposal, #82, at Iowahawk's $33.18 Steel Cage Art Death Match (I can't believe I had the only entry with uncovered breasts...). Danke!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Iowahawk Endowment for the Arts

Now that the deadline for the beer money has passed, I feel free to share my proposal for the Iowahawk Endowment for the Art's $33.18 Steel Cage Art Death Match. Unlike the rank amateurs who went ahead and created their artworks before they got the money (suckers!) I merely wrote a proposal...
My proposal combines performance art with the 21st century social phenomenon known as the "flash mob." When the army of devotees receives a signal with a seemingly random location (Hyde Park, Nancy Pelosi's condo, the Rose Bowl, Bonneville Flats, etc), they will converge to recite [Iowahawk's] greatest work, The Idiossey. Participants will be encouraged to wear Doric chitons and crowns of arugula, and to leave their TelePrompters at home. My five-year-old nephew (representing the future generations of Iowahawk fans) will conclude the performance with a rousing rendition of the U of Iowa fight song on his kazoo, and the mob will disperse, leaving awe and wonderment in its wake. I believe we can repeat the performance 15-16 times before the national media even notices! Attached please find Doric chiton instructions swiped from Wikimedia.

The grant money will be used to defray medical expenses incurred when my sister figures out who keeps giving her child kazoos. ;)

If I spent half the time actually making art as thinking about making art...I'd still have to whore myself out to companies who need software tested to put cat food on the table. Heh.