Thursday, July 26, 2007

Cat kills people, gets treats

Looks like a sweetie, but looks are deceiving...

PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island (AP) -- Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours.

Oscar the cat doesn't like to be put out in the hall when a patient is dying.


After about six months, the staff noticed Oscar would make his own rounds, just like the doctors and nurses. He'd sniff and observe patients, then sit beside people who would wind up dying in a few hours.

Let's look at this more closely:

Cat visits people.

People die.

People assume the cat has magical feline intuition.

Give me a break! How do they know he's not doing something to hasten the deaths of the patients??? The only thing cats think about more than murder is food. I'm allowed to live only because I can work doorknobs and can openers, and if I ever stop I'm the cat's next dinner. We all know who's in charge of that nursing ward, and it ain't the nurses.

People think they're way more important to plants and animals than they actually are.

Gotta go, someone just brought me his feather-onna-string.

1 comment:

zirelda said...

What got me was that they said people find the cat comforting. If it were me, I wouldn't want to see the feline because obviously, my time would be up.