Wednesday, July 25, 2007


I love Greg Gutfield.

Last week the New York Times took McDonalds to task for introducing a new drink called the "Hugo," forty two ounces of affordable soda, an amount that could drown a sizable rodent. What really peeves the paper: McDonalds printed the ads so everyone could read them. "Hugo ads are available in several languages," the paper scolds, "making sure that minorities - who are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic - are aware of the budget beverage."

So, by making these ads multi-cultural, McDonalds is racist. But, what if Micky D's hadn't printed the ads in different languages? You just know the Times would have hinted at racism there as well. After all, how dare they exclude minorities from a bargain deal?

It seems you can't win when you make something people want. If only the New York Times knew what that was like.

As an Obese-American, I have no idea why I'm supposed to be offended by being offered a cheap 42-oz. diet Coke (which happens every summer). I never take them up on it, because it comes with 40 oz of ice and I'm out of liquid by the time I get back on the interstate.

Instead, I purchase 44- and 64-oz sodas at QuikTrip and Kum n Go (stop laughing!), much as I have been since 1989 (OK, I started out with the refillable 32-oz bottle-with-built-in-straw, the "squart", which may still be in a cupboard at my parents' house). Some of them will even let you fill your gallon container full of sweet life-giving Mountain Dew directly from their fountain. McDonald's is advertising something that's been available from other retailers for twenty years--is the Times just now noticing the existance of fountain drinks?! No wonder they can't sell papers.

Suddenly, I'm thirsty.

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