Sunday, August 12, 2007

Look ma! I'm subversive!

Greg Gutfield, of course.

Why do nearly all Hollywood actors and actresses act like sheep? I pin it on the thirst for fame, which is based on an insatiable need for approval. It's what draws people to Hollywood. And it's this same craving that drives people to become liberals. When one becomes a liberal, he or she advocates tolerance, equality and peace, but hilariously, is doing so for purely selfish reasons. It's the human equivalent of a puppy's face: an evolutionary tool designed to enhance survival, reproductive value and status. Also, like puppies, many liberals go number one on the floor when they're nervous. In short, liberalism is based on one desire: to look cool in order to get approval. Preaching tolerance makes you look cooler than saying something like, "please lower my taxes," which personally gets me hot, but did nothing for my E-harmony Profile.

This is why the only true form of rebellion left on this planet is rejecting the trademark forms of romantic rebellion like anarchy, activism, nipple rings or tribal tattoos. The anti-rebel is far more subversive because every day he or she says things that aren't sanctioned and certainly aren't considered cool among the media elite. This is why Dick Cheney is closer to the Hell's Angels than Hunter S. Thompson ever could be.

Gonna remember this the next time someone gives me shit for not having any illegitimate children.

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