Sunday, October 4, 2009

Iowahawk Endowment for the Arts

Now that the deadline for the beer money has passed, I feel free to share my proposal for the Iowahawk Endowment for the Art's $33.18 Steel Cage Art Death Match. Unlike the rank amateurs who went ahead and created their artworks before they got the money (suckers!) I merely wrote a proposal...
My proposal combines performance art with the 21st century social phenomenon known as the "flash mob." When the army of devotees receives a signal with a seemingly random location (Hyde Park, Nancy Pelosi's condo, the Rose Bowl, Bonneville Flats, etc), they will converge to recite [Iowahawk's] greatest work, The Idiossey. Participants will be encouraged to wear Doric chitons and crowns of arugula, and to leave their TelePrompters at home. My five-year-old nephew (representing the future generations of Iowahawk fans) will conclude the performance with a rousing rendition of the U of Iowa fight song on his kazoo, and the mob will disperse, leaving awe and wonderment in its wake. I believe we can repeat the performance 15-16 times before the national media even notices! Attached please find Doric chiton instructions swiped from Wikimedia.

The grant money will be used to defray medical expenses incurred when my sister figures out who keeps giving her child kazoos. ;)

If I spent half the time actually making art as thinking about making art...I'd still have to whore myself out to companies who need software tested to put cat food on the table. Heh.

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