Iowahawk Endowment for the Arts

Now that the deadline for the beer money has passed, I feel free to share my proposal for the Iowahawk Endowment for the Art's $33.18 Steel Cage Art Death Match. Unlike the rank amateurs who went ahead and created their artworks before they got the money (suckers!) I merely wrote a proposal...

My proposal combines performance art with the 21st century social phenomenon known as the "flash mob." When the army of devotees receives a signal with a seemingly random location (Hyde Park, Nancy Pelosi's condo, the Rose Bowl, Bonneville Flats, etc), they will converge to recite [Iowahawk's] greatest work, The Idiossey. Participants will be encouraged to wear Doric chitons and crowns of arugula, and to leave their TelePrompters at home. My five-year-old nephew (representing the future generations of Iowahawk fans) will conclude the performance with a rousing rendition of the U of Iowa fight song on his kazoo, and the mob will disperse, leaving awe and wonderment in its wake. I believe we can repeat the performance 15-16 times before the national media even notices! Attached please find Doric chiton instructions swiped from Wikimedia.

The grant money will be used to defray medical expenses incurred when my sister figures out who keeps giving her child kazoos. ;)

If I spent half the time actually making art as thinking about making art...I'd still have to whore myself out to companies who need software tested to put cat food on the table. Heh.

Iowahawk strikes again

(Sexual content warning)

A Statement from the Speaker of the House


I will have real things to say tomorrow--my friend from Pittsburgh is here and we're about to go looking for the Brewers game and Canadian beer.

"Frankly, I'm getting a little sick of being labeled with these kind of destructive stereotypes."

It's still bad out there.

Now, as the waters recede, some Iowans are finding themselves victimized again -- by their state's self-destructive work ethic. Blogger / flood victim Dave Burge reports from the scene.

But fear not; the Turkeys' stupid pink locker room was unharmed.

On a serious note, the Iowa City animal shelter needs help feeding and caring for pets whose humans can't keep them in their temporary/new housing. If I don't stop looking at pictures of kittens who need my help, I won't be able to make rent next week. *sigh* I've been encouraged to head out to Waukesha and adopt a refugee from Iowa, but I'm already outnumbered here, four legs to two.

I envy Iowahawk.

Remember: every time you click on the internet, a professional journalist cries.